I'm often frustrated by the lack of words in the English language. There are never the right words available to describe the endless possibilities of life. All the little feelings or occurrences that are just impossible to describe, they bug me.
I had a Japanese friend who used to share words with me from his language that described little things the English language never bothered to name. One time he taught me the Japanese word for that feeling when you are so bored that it's made you lazy. Of course, the word now escapes me, but I'll always be impressed with the existence of such a word.
There is no proper word to describe how my October has been so far. "Full" and "Empty" would be the best keywords for the past couple of weeks, but that's just a clue. Absence has been the theme. I've been incredibly busy keeping up with all of the absence in October.
First, Scott went out of town. Not a huge deal, but also not something I am used to. I became bored without him almost immediately. We've spent time apart before, but usually it's me on the road, too busy with adventures to miss home. It was a long four days.
Then there was the SXSW Eco Conference, a gathering of industry experts, Eco-activists, and tree-hugging business people. Absence came up a lot. The absence of awareness, information, infrastructure. We spent a lot of time waxing poetic on what's missing. Not so much in a negative way. It was more like working on a great big to-do list. Though the conference was sometimes a but overwhelming, all-in-all I'm glad I went. If nothing else, it was nice to find out that I'm not the only one who notices the lack of certain things: like approachable vegans, seafood traceability, or labeling on GMO food products.
Two days ago I started a juice fast, so I'm currently hyper-aware of the absence of solid food in my stomach. I'm a little miserable right now, but I'm also hopeful. This reboot should help jump start some weight loss, invigorate me through intense nutrition, and rid me of some nasty, built-up toxins.
Sometimes less is more, and sometimes loss is gain. In the case of October, the presence of absence has defined my days.