All Work and No Play Make Mary Something Something

Dear outside world,

I am writing this while trapped under a sweet little baby. My attempts to put him down in the crib or rocker have failed. I would put him down on his father, but apparently it is nap time for him as well. I'm pretty sure that my husband sleeps more than my newborn. Charming – am I right?

I love my husband, and all in all he is a great dad. He's loving and patient, and his sense of humor helps lighten up the mood when the task of parenthood feels especially heavy.

Still, it's hard not to give in to resentment when you hear the dude snoring contentedly while you are running on empty, having not slept for more than three hours in a row in the past month. Between napping and nursing I probably spend about ten to twelve hours everyday with a baby on me. Plenty of that time is spent without at least one free arm.

While sitting here rocking the baby I take the usual time to enjoy it – I smell his head, rub his back, and nuzzle his soft little cheeks – but after a while my attention drifts, and that's when the battle for sanity begins.

It's not so bad during the middle of the day. Right now I'm tired, but not delirious, and my napping husband gives me someplace to focus my negative energy. (Glowering does wonders when it comes to releasing hostility.) When night falls though, the fight to remain blissful and baby-focused gets a lot harder.

I have my Kindle to keep me company, but even for a bookworm like me there is a limit to how much one can read in a day. My cellphone is my only other outlet. Over the past month I have pretty much read the entire internet.

I stalk Facebook and Instagram several times a day – which leads me to the conclusion that I need to find some more interesting friends. Sorry guys, but your lives are far too stable and happy to supply the kind of entertainment I'm looking for. Can you do me a favor and start fighting amongst yourselves or making really poor life decisions? Mama needs some drama.

That, or a television. I've heard those are pretty boss.